Fairy Tales: part 1

When I was little my favorite fairy tale or bedtime story was The Velveteen Rabbit, Beauty and the Beast was a close second. My sister's was Snow White. Everyone has some story from their childhood that they simply adored and couldn't get enough of. But isn't it interesting what our favorite stories mean about the adults we are today or the decisions we made growing up?
If I really think about myself; my insecurities and approach to relationships...the fairy tales I loved so dearly as a child molded the thought process behind my actions as an adult.I will begin with a brief description ad some quotes of The Velveteen Rabbit. The story is simple; a young boy receives a stuffed rabbit for christmas. But unlike most, this is told from the perspective of the rabbit. So the rabbit is given to the young boy, he doesn't know anything outside of the toy room. He knows not of real rabbits. He talks to the skin horse (rocking horse) about what it means to be 'real'.
       "What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender,before nana came to tide the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
       "Real isn't how you're made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a really long time, not just plays with you, but REALLY loves you. That's when you become real."
       "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
       "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are real you don't mind being hurt."
       "Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
       "It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse, "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to the people who don't understand." 
Then, as time wears on, the boy plays with the rabbit. He plays with him everyday and everywhere. He loves him until he looses his shape, until his ears flop down and his nose ceases to be pink. This reminds me of the shapeless stuffed dog a friend of mine still has to this day. But the rabbit loves the boy and  the boy loves him. One day he is left outside and meets two real rabbits who mock him, they claim he is not real while he adamantly fights that he is.
Soon the boy becomes very ill, with scarlet fever. The boy clings to the rabbit through out his illness, that is until the doctor orders all his toys be destroyed for the might carry germs. So the nurse bagged all his toys and put them in a bag outside to be burned. This deeply saddened both the boy and the rabbit. In fact, this made the rabbit cry. And one single, REAL tear tickled down his cheek and onto the ground.Where the tear landed a flower grew. And form that flower came a fairy. She saw the stuffed rabbit and told him that since he was very loved and real to the boy then he should be loved to the rest of the world. So she made him a real rabbit. [Quite pinocchio-esq, ehh?]

Lovely, right? I had always thought so and I can certainly see how I enjoyed it immensely as a child. It still strikes a chord today. It becomes very obvious to me where me ideas for meaningful relationships emerge, and my issues with emotions and love. I would much rather dive into a relationship and risk utter heart break than to be left wondering. This has created a few issues on my part....recklessness with the heart, and not just mine. Then there's my non-romantic pairings. My friends like Christine or Joshua Berardi. Even now I often wonder how they truly feel towards me, but then again the eating disorder and CNC comes to mind when I consider these insecurities. But could this also explain why I identify with these stories? Do I need validation in order to believe in myself? Could this also explain the distance I have to my family? My analysis seems to pose more questions than answers, per usual.
I suppose the more adult Beauty and the Beast may yield better results on this front.   
This only explains me, however. Perhaps Andrea's love of Snow White explains her issues with authority and following instructions. She does tend to act as Snow White did within the tale, minus running away to live with little people who were also coal miners.

Sheldon Cashdan wrote a book entitled The Witch Must Die all about the hidden meanings of fairy tales, in high school it quickly became a book that was read so frequently it has now fallen apart. I need to buy a new copy, but this book helped shape my views on psychology and our childhood development. I have to wonder where eating disorders come into play within these tales writing paths towards the adult versions of ourselves.
More research is on the way.